We were cutting through the dance floor when some dude reached up and slapped Grinder in the back of the head. I turned and gave him the "What the fuck??" look. You know, slighty angry, shoulders raised, arms out, palms up...that look. Slappy said something I didn't understand, so I turned my attention back to our horny brazilian. That's when I got shoved from behind. I turned around and here's slappy look at me with a big, I just got away with something, whatchu gonna do 'bout it grin.
I grabbed his arm spun him around and got him to the door. Once there, Andrew and Ty grabbed him and tried to push him out. He grabbed the door. I had to peel his fingers off the door handle to get him to let go. The way the night was going he's lucky one of us didn't punch him in the mouth. Not that that is an acceptable means of removing a small brazilian man from a door, but, these things happen in such a way sometimes. Meanwhile, there's a ball rubbing brazilian loose in our bar, and I don't know where the BA is. Thank God they didn't play YMCA just then. I hear it's fun to play there.
Finally I found Grinder and he still can't find his jacket. He keeps explaining that once he finds it he'll leave. I keep explaining "Find it" Finally, just as I'm getting tired of the whole thing, he bolts out of the bar, I ran after him but he just kept on running, right up the street, waving his hands over his head, almost skipping. He ran up the main road till I couldn't see him anymore.
Now the other guy is arguing with Ty. Ty is telling him to leave. The guy comes over and starts shaking his finger in my face, asking why I kicked him out. I pushed his hands down and pushed him back from my personal space. My personal space is now about a 6 foot bubble in any direction. I explained that he can't touch the staff. Ever. Never ever. And he certainly can't shove me. That's a cardinal sin. He started protesting that he didn't, his english is really bad, turns out he's brazilian too and his ball rubbing buddy is his brother. This circular argument went on until finally I flagged down a cop walking by and asked them to explain it to him. Cops are great at this. They can arrest you. They don't care what happened. Whoever is being the biggest jackass at the time goes, one way or another. They explained and he got into a cab. But then he got out when the cops left and headed back towards us. Ty's giving me that, "Come on...please let me punch a little brazilian in the face look". Fortunately one of Slappy's buddies came out and walked him away rather forcefully. Perfect, problem solved.
Three hours later, after we've dealt with a bar clearing brawl, with tensions high, this guy came back to plead his case. Again. He was pointing at me through the glass and yammering away in what I could only guess is Portuguese. Grinder was there, all smiles, dancing around like the happiest fucking marionette, and some of their other friends. A pack of brazilians. Great. Brazilians are know to be pretty handy fighters, even their flaming marionettes can apply a flying arm bar when necessary. Fortunatly these guys were more lovers than fighters. One of the buddies came over when I opened the door to explain in broken english that there was no trouble, that it was all good, while his other friends tried to pull slappy away. Grinder was oblivious to all of this, really just happy to be there.
Eventually they all left and I could finally relax and reflect upon the night. Did we really have to kick out a small brazilian man for grinding up against our BA? Go figure.
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