Dumb and Dumber

November 25, 2012
A guy came flying out of the bar and stood there looking as tough as a 5 foot 6 man can. A great big cowboy type sauntered out after and said "So I guess these two guys want to fight me". 
Perfect.
Half the bar cleared out; 2 bouncers, the manager, 2 bartenders, 2 cooks, some dude, another dude, some other dude, the bar assistant, a handful of drunks, and little ol me all pile out to try and sort this thing.

After holding the pugilists back for a spell, they started to talk and realized they didn't know why they want to fight. No idea. Couldn't come up with a reason. Apparently someone told each of them that the other guy wanted to fight and they both got all riled up and lost their minds for a minute. I wish I had found these guys earlier. I would have told them to give me all their cash. I think that's how cults start right? I'd be a GREAT cult leader. Seriously. Who wants in? Free belly rubs and all the oatmeal you can eat. (After the pot harvest of course) Where was I? Oh....

Anyway...then my fighters wanted back in and were genuinely SHOCKED when I denied them. Now, this is where drunk logic comes in. It's basically a circular arrangement wherein nothing is the drunk's fault and I'm an asshole. In this case the argument was that i should let them back in because, although yes, they were going to fight, they are now friends, and that friendship is as strong as a mighty oak tree, running deeper that the seven seas themselves. Then they told me if I didn't let them in they'd never come back.

You can imagine my disappointment.