3 guys got out of a cab and walked to the door of the bar. The cabby came flying around the cab and ran ahead of them pointing at a little drunk guy in a red plaid shirt.
"Don't let this guy in!! Don't let him in" He hollered in his best quicki-mart voice.
"He harrassed me, he was very nasty!" I pictured Paboo wagging a finger at Jerry Seinfeld. You're a very bad man!
Ok I said. The cabby hustled back to his ride while drunk's buddy starts to tell me that the cabby was a dick. I told him that I knew the cabby and he wasn't the problem.
The drunk, now realizing he wasn't getting in ran back to the cab and tried to get in. The cabby threw er into reverse and gunned it, the drunk chasing him up the parking lot. Losing his foot race with a Ford Windstar, the drunk plaid guy decided to come in. I held him back at the door and asked him where he was going.
"Inside" he said angrily.
"No you're not"
"Why?" he asked stupidly.
"Cause you just chased a cabby up the street, why do think?"
"This is bullshit" he said.
"Maybe, but you need to go dude"
The plaid drunk shook his head and walked off up the side walk. We could see him at the end of the strip mall talking to someone, gestering at us and waving his arms around. I figured he was probably recommending our new menu to a passerby.
About fifteen minutes later the drunk returned with 2 buddies. I was at the door with Ty the 280lb bouncer and Josh the manager. I waved another bouncer over, James, and said,"Watch this" I thought for sure I was going to have to drop angry plaid guy. I figured the door guys would appreciate getting to see it. It was a slow night.
As the trio approached I realized that the drunk had thrown his buddy's hoodie on over his shirt. Although his disguise was excellent, his plaid shirt and face gave him away.
"Dude, you're not coming in" I told him.
"What?" he asked, as though he was a different person who should have all the rights and freedoms of normal, decent human being.
Josh started to explain that if you chase a cabby up the street you can't come into a bar, and that he was too drunk and we don't want problems. His buddies started to argue and finally I got sick of it all and just shouted over top of them.
"Hey! I'm not arguing about this, you're not coming in. If you two want to come in do it now or leave, but your buddy isn't coming in, make up your mind."
The two friends did what any good friend would do, they left him out on the sidewalk in the cold. The drunk announced for good measure that this was indeed still bullshit. He turned and walked away before suddenly, in true inspector Columbo style, turning back with a 'just one more thing' finger in the air. What ever he was going to say died on his lips when looked up at the four of us standing there. Something must have told him that we were dying for him to push just a little bit farther. He thought better of it, and walked away for the final time.
Josh looked at me and laughed. "I thought you were going to punch that guy in the face."
"Yeah me too" I said. Amazingly we didn't have a single fight last night. Knock on wood.
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