Wanted - A Friday night in early May

This dude walks in. Typical douche bag attire.

Affliction shirt, big chain, designer douche bag jeans, couple sleeves, in decent shape but walking around like he's carrying two heavy invisible suitcases. I already dislike this guy from a couple other times he's been in.

At some point he left and I didn't see him for a while. One of the guys asked me if I'd seen where he went but I didn't know. Well, seems a girl inside thinks he drugged her drink. Oh, I said not terribly surprised. Well, I'll keep and eye out and won't let him back in.

The next time I saw him he was in cuffs. Apparently our friend decided to take a leak on the side of the bar, in front of a cop car. (The bar was half empty, there was no line up, he just decided the side of the building was as good a place as any) While they were writing up his $300 ticket they ran his name and found out he had outstanding warrants somewhere else.  He spent the next hour in the back of a cop car while they figured out what to do with him. Meanwhile, I sent the girl who thought she was drugged home. (and I'm no crime scene investigator but I don't really think she was) She didn't want to leave, but I told her if she'd been drugged she needed to go to the hospital. If not, she was FAR to drunk or high to stay at the bar. She left unhappy.

Later, Captain Douche gets cut loose from the cops. He asked if he could come in and I said no. He started to plead his case and I told him I just don't care. He asked me if I could call him a cab. I pointed to the 2 that were parked 10 feet away. He shook his head, stopping to yell at the "drugged" girl's friends, informing them that they were bitches. Class act the whole way.

Later Dave walked out with a guy and told me that he stole a shot from the shooter girl. The guy said something along the lines of its not fair you won't hear my side of the story. He tried to come back in but I said no. Then he decided to try the "oh I've got a tab" routine. "No you don't" I said.
He argued with me for a while and finally said "So I got a bunch of free shots then? Thanks alot" and stuck out his hand. "I'm not going to shake your hand" I said.
"No, cause you're disrespectful" he replied. Well that pissed me off.
"Yeah, You're a thief but I'm the desrespectful one? Dipshit" (Ok, to be fair, dipshit is kind of a lame insult, but it was in the heat of the moment.)
He made fun of me for calling him a dipshit and stood around smoking for a few minutes. Oh, yeah, he didn't have a tab.

As Dipshit was leaving, Dave walked out another girl who had just done the same thing. She left on her own. Seems dipshits come in female too. Who knew?