The Sound of Music

I walked into the bar one day to visit a friend who was working a slow shift. As I sat down I heard some guy singing along (badly) with the music. I looked back towards the VLTs and the bartender and the waitress just sort of rolled their eyes. Apparently the guy had been there all day getting smashed and pumping his pay check into the machine. Cool.

He hollered that he needed another drink. The whole time she's taking his order, or delivering his drink he was talking. Half rambling, half flirting, and wholly making an ass of himself.

Finally she told him she was serving him his last drink. He was amiable about being cut off and happily took his rye and ginger. About 5 minutes later he said "Ok, I'll take 1 more double and then I'll settle up" he said.

The waitress apologized, said she couldn't serve him anymore and said when ever he was ready he could come up and pay. He argued a little, but she was firm. So he went and asked the bartender for a drink. She said no. That's when he decided he didn't order everything that was on his bill and the waitress was ripping him off. She explained his tab and he paid, saying that his change better be there cause she was a bitch who was bitch who was stealing from him. The bartender told he couldn't talk to her waitresses like that. He then announced that the bartender was a bitch and she could go fuck herself. Thats when I decided he should probably just go home.

I stood up and said "Alright pal time to leave" he did the exact thing drunk assholes do. He literally screamed "DON"T YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME!!"  What is it with drunks not being touched? Anyway, I stepped between him and the bar and started walking him towards the door. He scrambled backwards telling me he'd kick my ass. Then he stumbled and half grabbed my arm trying not to fall over. So we got into a little shoving match.

Suddenly he stopped and said he'd meet me outside. Then he ran and jumped in the air, kicking the door open on his way and ran into the night. I shrugged and turned around. One of my buddies had stood up and had my back, so that was nice. We laughed about the drunk in the parking lot waiting for a guy twice his size to come out and pound him into paste. I wondered how long he'd wait.

I got my answer a second later when he stuck his head in the door and screamed that I was a pussy. Then, in a great off balanced swooping arc he threw a handful of change at us. Most of it hit the ceiling about 10 feet ahead of him and bounced back down onto the floor.  I got up again and he turned and ran off into the night.  He'll be missed.