Les Miserables

So last night I got called over to the washroom, one of the bouncers is dealing with something. I figure probably two morons doing coke in a stall together. Or blowing each other. I went in and Hoss was standing there. Apparently two guys, somehow, depending on who's story is more credible, managed to break the divider between the urinals. "Fine, you're both leaving"

They argued as I was guiding them out,  but they were going so Hoss went back to his spot. Suddenly the first guy grabbed a beer from somewhere and the second guy bolted for the dance floor. Dave grabbed him and the two of us started to walk him out forcibly. On the way he grabbed a table, and pulled it over, knocking everything to the ground. Well, that was that, we bull rushed him out the door.

Outside, moron 1 still had a beer in his hand. I don't remember this but apparently Dave had his hand on the beer, but I, in a fit of pure genius, grabbed his hand off and pulled the guy away. The guy got all squirelly and started thrashing about. I went to grab him by the head but i missed and caught the string from his hoodie. So I just pulled. The front of his hoodie puckered shut in front of his face. It was pretty funny.

So now he's thrashing about some more so I pushed him over and got on top of him till he calmed down. I so very much wanted to choke him out, but good sense got the better of me.  Eventually he calmed and I pushed him towards a cab.

Then suddenly they started screaming. "Quebec, mother fucker! What the fuck!? Quebec! Yeah, you're so tough, 5 against 2! Quebec!"  I turned around and a couple other bouncers and a few patrons were behind me. Meanwhile the two idiots were screaming and making gang signs. Suddenly, one guy flips me off and screams "Child molester!!!!!!!!" at me. I burst out laughing. So he mooned us, buttoned up and kicked a dent into the back of a cab. Jaques and Pierre then stormed up the street yelling and screaming in their stupid sounding Quebec accents. We laughed and went back to work. I feel like poutine today.